Monday, June 27, 2005

My Thirteen-Year-Old Self Broke Into My Room

And he was confused. He did not know who lived there. He saw nothing really familiar. He was mad at me for not being who he thought I was going to be. I felt sorry for him because he was naive. He had not yet figured out what life was about. I saw him cry in the corner of my room, and I cried on the other corner. He looked at me and wondered why I dress the way I do. He wants me to be an architect. I want him to open his eyes.
But we talked and got to know each other. We have so much in common. We have so many differences.
He saw my guitar and told me he always really wanted to play it. I told him I learned just for him. He saw my books. Novels and collections of short stories. He said he spent most of his time in the library reading. I told him I would write something that would one day be in a library. He saw my photographs and said he was glad I was good at something. I told him I try my best. He listened to my music. He did not like it. He thought it was strange and he told me he would not listen to it again. I laughed. He went through my movies. He told me they looked boring and dumb. I reminded him he read some pretty dumb books, but he said he liked them.
He went through my clothes and told me he didn't like much of what I wear. I told him he would, in time. He found my drawing pad and told me he could do better. He was right. He went through my journals and wanted me to rewrite some of the entries and makek them happier. I told him it was too late, but that when I write future ones, I would try my best to make him happy.
He told me he liked to be alone. I answered him by saying it frightened me. He told me he went fishing last weekend. I told him I went yesterday, for the first time since he went. I promised him I would not go long without it again.
He said goodbye but he didn't leave. He is with me still. He likes to dress up as a ninja and climb trees. He wraps towels around his neck and pretends they are capes. He watches cartoons on saturday mornings and in the hot afternoons runs around outside fighting monsters and keeping the grass short. He has many adventures. I sit down and write about him.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Sometimes you have to get away...

I'll be going camping this weekend. Hopefully I will get some good pictures and a nice time of relaxation. Something is bound to be interesting enough for the camera. I'll let you know.
Also I have come to realize the meaning of it. I know what to do. I don't know how though. Life makes alot of sense when viewed from the right perspective.
Something that doesn't make sense to me is (or rather it makes sense, but it makes me really sad) that all of us come from the same original humans. It doesn't matter if you believe in creation of evolution, we all come from two original humans. The thing is, even though we are all related, we don't always treat or fellow humans as equals. I am guilty of this. I either put myself above others or put myself so down that I grow angry at others for being so above me. It makes sense to me that we are all called to be humbled and to put others before us, but when it doesn't happen, when not everybody does it, society ends up like it is right now. We have the rich eating the flesh of the poor as they toil away to give the middle class what they want. It is not fair. I am guilty of this. But this is not what is supposed to be going on. Capitalism is only better than socialism because doctors get paid to save lives, because engineers amass fortunes inventing technology that not only is useless in furthering the thoughts and mind of people, but rather slowly cripples mankind. In socialism nobody helped anybody because there was nothing to profit. But the flaw was not in the system. The flaw is in the person. When we learn to not live our lives seeking to profit from every endevour, we will see that a society of equality without social ranks is really what is best for mankind. I know that this is not possible in the world as it is today. I know that every human being has to not look to improving himself but to improving those around him. When everybody is doing this, the world will be a fantastic place to live in. No more war, no more hunger, no more sadness. Think about it: A world where everyone supports everyone else doing what they were born to do with the skills innate to each person. This is the key to the utopia we have all been searching for but have not found: Selflessness. That is it. That is all I have to say.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Sometimes I die

I tried peotry today... Weird. Comments are welcome only if you do not get it. Questions are welcome. I don't want to say "thank you."

"Sometimes I Die"

Sometimes I die. I die when I realize I am small. I die when the leaves grow on the trees and I know I can't turn the seasons forward. The veins split and split and split across the green. My blood stops running and my eyes turn red. I wait for the leaves to fall.
Sometimes I die. I die when I realize I am not enough. I die when the sun burns in the sky and the I know that it will burn. The ground cracks and cracks and cracks across the land. My blood stops running and my eyes turn red. I wait for the clouds to form.
Sometimes I live. I live when I realize I have been given a second chance. I live when I see my eyes in the mirror and I know who made them. My love grows and grows and grows in me. My blood runs and my eyes can see. I wait for You to come.

Friday, June 17, 2005

I have a place to live in the fall.

I have recieved my room assignment for the fall. I will be living in Maple Hall, room B215. I am pretty excited about this. I might even turn the room into a darkroom.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

new pictures

there are some new pictures up on my da. check them out at

Monday, June 13, 2005

Saturday, June 11, 2005

in association with

I am going to post all my pictures at deviant art. you can expect too keep seeing the comic here, but all my photographs are going to be on deviant art. i'll let you know when I put them up though, so check them out.

also art

i just recently scanned some pictures. i spent my whole day scanning all the best pictures i've taken. i will eventually put them all up one by one.

Friday, June 10, 2005

my knights don't wear shining armor

i really don't have anything to say about this other than i am not too pleased with it. i could not find the right words to say. this is all i could come up with. it doesn't make much sense, but it makes me sad.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

there is no title

i am glad to have some friends who think in challenging ways. they do not take things at face value, but they look for something deeper. this is a thank you note. thank you for thinking the way you do. thank you for intelligent conversations. thank you for being who you are. you know who you are, yet you do not put yourself above others. thank you.

Monday, June 06, 2005

i guess this is a post

I am just posting to try out this cool new widget i found. also, I find a quote.
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable"
-John F. Kennedy
just a thought.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

just wait, it will be better soon...